Wednesday, May 22, 2013

I want my penny back.

Posted by K 

In case you don't live in Canada I've decided to provide some back story to the saga of the Canadian penny.

Earlier this year, the Canadian government effectively decided to discontinue the penny. The reasons given are the high cost of manufacturing and handling for a coin that is essentially worth nothing. The new plan is that if a consumer buys something and pays with cash, the store will adjust the price to the nearest nickel (5 cents). The idea was that items with a final cost that ends with $0.01, $0.02, $0.06 and $0.07 would be rounded down, and $0.03, $0.04, $0.08, and $0.09 would be rounded up.

Behold! the glorious penny!

I'm not sure if it's my irrational hatred of anything new, (or maybe paranoia), but I was definitely not excited to hear about this.

I've already had my first annoying incident when I went to pay for some fast food:

I had to dig through my whole purse!

I then complained to anyone that would listen how what the guy did must be illegal...

That was when I found out that they didn't make the 'rounding' rules a law. It's a "guideline". Like "don't eat snacks after 7pm". Because we all follow those. There is no legal consequence for not following the rounding rules.

And I know it's just 3 cents. But besides the principle of the thing, those 3 cents could really add up. I did the math. Which is saying something because I hate math.

Say, hypothetically, that an iced cream costs $2.77 with tax. And say on one warm summer day, at a large chain of ice cream shops, 100 000 people buy iced cream with their change, that would add up to $3000 extra that belongs to people being paid to the stores.

And that is just one hypothetical day and one hypothetical purchase! I don't think I've said hypothetical enough. Hypothetical!


Anyway, so now I'm paying for everything with my credit card. Which makes for a completely ridiculous bill.  $0.97 for a Score Bar, $2.54 for a small pack of Kleenex...but I digress.

In conclusion, I want the penny back. It would be nice if just once my paranoia turned out to be wrong. But let's face it, they really are out to get us. ***cue twilight zone music

Sunday, May 05, 2013

What doesn't kill us...

Posted by M

Do you ever find yourself questioning things that we do in society? Like, for what reason were certain norms and expectancies put into place? I think a lot of it has to do with a lack of wanting to see people behave as though we are characters from Lord of the Flies. (Sidebar: Poor Piggy. Is he not like the saddest character in literary history? I suppose the Mulberry faced boy is up there too.)

I also think a lot of our normal pleasanteries are designed to test our patience and to see how far we can be pushed before we CRACK!

I consider myself a decently patient person. But sometimes (more often if I'm low on caffeine) I find myself wanting to kick politeness to the curb (see M-Hulk post for what this might look like. SPOILER: It's not pretty).

Situation A: The local coffee joint

My husband and I frequent a Tim's which is attached to an Esso station near work. We love this Tim's because they make consistently good coffee and are quick. Recently, a new employee has been testing my will.

One morning, our order was concluded with a:

I'm SooOOOO sorry. Are two coffees  not enough for you good sir?

I could only gather that this type of blatant "you suck and are cheap" attitude caused his bosses to take him off of the speaker, as the next time he was at the cash register. His new way of testing us is to 'pretend' that the pay pass machine isn't working. (I say 'pretend' because I truly believe that a child could figure out how to work the pay pass machine...or would at least have more patience trying to).

*Two seconds later* "Nope, sorry, your pay pass doesn't work"
How about...I don't know...actually touching the card to the machine? Just a thought.

Situation B: The superstore

Let's be honest: superstores are created to test the will of human beings. Sure, you get wholesale foods at decent prices. You can get a giant jar of olives for the price of two small ones, woot woot! And hey, superstore gas stations are the cheapest in town! But why create a seemingly amazing store, only to add constant obstacles to the mix?

For example, the parking:

FYI: My car is not in this picture
I'm basically exhausted when I get to the store. The store is like a million square feet, so this is not good. Also, there is no sidewalk, and for a clutz like me that really doesn't bode very well.

There's also the shopping cart obstacle course:

Seriously, where ARE you people?! I just want my olives!
Look, we all know you are eating the free samples, but please, take your giant cart with you!

Situation C: The doctor's office

Last, but certainly not least, is the doctor's office. Any sort of medical establishment really. You kindly make an appointment so the doctor knows you're coming. You respectfully show up 15 minutes early as the receptionist requested. They lead you into a room and...

I wish I'd brought a book...
Am I going to be here for the rest of my life?!!

It's like they know when you've lost the will.

I don't know...I guess I'm saying that we need to question these things sometimes, or else people become real a-holes. Either that, or the motto "if you can't beat them, join 'em" will have to become my spice of life!

Thursday, May 02, 2013

New posts coming soon!

Posted by K 

Many apologies for the lack of posts recently, we are hoping to present you with some hilarious, Paint illustrated stories soon!

Upcoming stories include M discussing the decay of modern society (at least that's how I describe it, she may say something "less heavy"), me finally adding up my bus hours (which I haven't tallied since 2012...yikes), and probably a Quincy the cat video (if I can figure out how to work this blogger thingy). The point being you will be glad you kept reading! Trust us! I promise!

Who couldn't trust these faces?

While we're on the subject of random segways (okay, we weren't on that topic. but it's ironic. Deal with it), now that the weather has gotten hot again, I'd like to give a shout out to all my fellow allergy sufferers. While the rest of the city is all "WOOHOO! Shorts weather!" we're all walking around like "I want to go live in a bubble so my eyes stop itching for 2 seconds". I see those glares on the buses. They need to make Kleenex that has "ALLERGIES" written in big letters, so whenever I blow my nose people don't think I have the plague.

This morning after I checked the weather, I decided to see what the weekend has in store Allergy-wise and now I am extremely depressed:

One of my worst allergies (among many) is Birch. I guess they don't call Canada "land of the silver birch" for nothing. It's hard to take in the majesty of the might birch when you can't stop sneezing. Good times.

Anywho, maybe buy your favorite allergy sufferer an iced-cap or something.

Happy Thursday!