Quincy the Cat: Mountain Climber

Apparently life has been a little boring for Quincy the cat lately. The toy mouse chasing and escaping into the garage has lost it's charm.

At least that's what I assume, since he's taken up a new hobby; mountain climbing.

Of course, being an indoor cat, his access to real mountains is kind of limited. So he has settled for using his imagination and various high things.

1 week ago:

I woke up to a weird noise. Already suspicious, I turned on my beside light to find this scene:

He was actually trying to jump on top of a 6 foot book shelf. I said "think about what you're doing, Quincy." But he just stared at me while balancing on the desk. I think he knew he'd bit off more than he could chew though, since he stood there for 3 minutes until I got up and helped him down.

3 days ago:

I woke up at 1 am to find Quincy balancing on my hips and looking about as pleased as if he'd climbed Everest. Which I find really insulting. My hips are not that big, Quincy.

Last night:

We were watching "Home Alone 2" to get in the Christmas spirit. Quincy was wandering around, but he wasn't getting into too much trouble so I wasn't paying attention. I guess that was my mistake.

1 minute later:

Sigh. I tried threatening to take away his Christmas present (It's a cat tent I found at the Dollar Store), but he doesn't seem to care. He will once he plays in it though. It's totally awesome.

Baggy Pants : Crafty Conspiracy or Poorly Designed Fashion Choice?

Posted by K 

I'm starting to wonder if the "baggy pants" fashion was created by really clever people in law enforcement. Seriously, in the last 5 episodes of COPS I've seen, there has been at least one guy attempting to flee arrest only to get tripped up by his pants.



And then they have the added fun of being handcuffed with their colourful boxers on display. Pretty freaking embarrassing. Makes me wonder why they agreed to have their face shown on tv. One of life's little mysteries I guess.



These random thoughts are brought to you by the guy in front of me at the bus station who made a run for the 95 only to have his pants take a bit of a dive. Logging that in the "images to be scrubbed from my brain" category.


I don't really feel like drawing this image right now (it was traumatizing enough in person), so instead, here is a drawing of Kirby using only computer symbols:

< ( ' ' )>

Someone showed me that in high school, and I was like "my mind is blown!!". That was back in the days before we had the wide range of emoticons available today. When you instant messaged someone with a sarcastic comment you had to write "(sarcasm)" after it to make sure they didn't take you seriously. I had more misunderstandings over such things than I care to mention.


p. s.

@-->--   It's a rose!!

Tales from the doctor's office

Posted by M

This post could also be entitled, "How not to raise your child: A judgemental guide from a highly irritated non-parent."

Recently I was waiting for my husband at a doctor's office. Medical establishments are not known to be the most enjoyable, doolally of places, but for the most part the only battle is against people who insist on:

a) Sharing their illness with the room.

I'm just here for a check up!! >:l

b) Sitting right next to you when the room is empty.

Do you not get enough social interaction or something?! Yeesh.

Anyway, when I entered the office, I was actually pleasantly surprised by the quietness and seemingly unsickness of all who were there. It's an Urgent Care Centre (like a mini-hospital), so I was truly relieved when I didn't see anyone with gushing wounds or looking like they were going to need a vomit bag any second.

My husband was eventually called in, and I sat pleasantly scrolling through Pinterest on my phone. About a minute passed, and a lady entered the room with her small child of about 3. I smiled pleasantly at her and the child, as that is the "proper" thing to do when you see a well-behaved child. I even found it kind of cute when the girl proceeded to play with a Disney Princess microphone, happily singing away.

And then it happened. I don't know if it was the chocolate her mother gave her (a Halloween-sized Aero Bar), or her trip to the bathroom (pre-empted by a loud "I HAVE TO POO MOMMY"), but whatever it was, it was like the child was taken over by some horrible, loud and obnoxious being. She was, in essence, the Rubrecht child.

Now, if you don't know who Rubrecht is, you need to watch the classic Steve Martin/ Michael Caine movie, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (check it out here:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eF8QAeQm3ZM ). Suffice it to say, Rubrecht is a character depicted by Martin who is a totally disobeying, loud, socially unacceptable child who has to eat with a cork on his fork. The cork on the fork is unimportant to this story, but makes me laugh EVERY time.

So the next HOUR went a lot like this:

I'm not being mean, the kid's hair really did look like that. She fell off a chair and rubbed her staticky toy all over her head.

Imagine Fay Wray from King Kong seeing the gorilla for the first time and letting out a blood curdling scream. This was worse.

Yep, that's spit. She spit on her mom's shoes.

It's times like these when one really starts to debate the whole having children things. Let's just say my enthusiasm was greatly depleated/ pushed off.

Eventually (and by this I mean an HOUR later), the mother moved herself and her child to new seats, saying, "Let's give these people a break for awhile". To which I let out a silent expletive of relief.

Can all the bad parents of the world unite and decide to live somewhere isolated...like the Falkland Islands? Food for thought people, food for thought.

Voting closed

So the blogger polling got totally screwed up, and didn't really work for the majority of the week. But if we go by the final tally, I totally win:

• Yes, K is correct, they could totally be twins! Total:   7 (70%)

• No, no they don't. Stick to Paint, K. Total: 1 (10%)

• I have no opinion, but I like clicking buttons. Woohoo! Total: 2 (20%)

 It's pretty hard to say whether or not this is in any way accurate, but 7 to 1 is a pretty clear victory...for me.

This is the time when I am humble in victory, accepting it with grace and modesty, and refraining from "rubbing it in" or gloating needlessly.

Yeah, no unnecessary gloating.





p.s.- The time it took to put that image together? Totally worth it :)

Vote update

Okay, so for some reason the poll (which I put up last night) has reset itself. When i went to bed there were 4 votes, but now there is only 1. I googled (yes, that is now a verb) to see if anyone else is having this problem, and apparently it's happening on several blogs. No one has an answer why yet, but hopefully it will be fixed soon!

Anyway, for the sake of fairness (because this is such an important issue I don't want people to think I'm cheating), the votes when I went to bed were 1 yes, 2 no, 1 doesn't care.
I'll try to check the vote at least once a day to keep a semi-accurate tally, so when I win it will be even more glorious :)

If you haven't voted yet (and consequently have no idea what I'm talking about) read the post below and feel free to weigh by voting on the left side of the screen, where the "Bus Points" usually are. Merci and TGIF!

Vote! No, not that vote, a different vote.

Posted by K 
 

VOTING IS NOW CLOSED, FOR THE (SEMI) ACCURATE RESULTS CLICK HERE



The first vote in Why Is an Orange? history!

This vote is brought to you by my brother-in-law, who insinuated I was crazy for mixing two actresses up and insisting the doctor from Stargate SG-1 (on the left, Teryl Rothery) plays the wicked step-mother on Once Upon a Time (actually played by Lana Parilla on the right).

Yes, I may have mixed them up and insisted I was right, but, in my defense, they look the same. Seriously, they could be twins. And I would know, being a twin myself.

Left - Teryl Rothery from (Stargate SG-1), Right - Lana Parilla (Once Upon a Time)

Anyway, don't let my opinion (correct though it is) sway you, I'm looking for unbiased input to decide the matter. Please vote (on the left side of your screen), the options are:

• Button #1: Yes, K is correct
• Button #2: No, K is crazy
• Button #3: You could care less, but you still want your opinion heard.

The vote is open for 1 week!


p.s.- in case someone thinks I'm cheating, these are the pictures from their IMDb pages, which is totally legit (well, as legit as the internet is...)

p.p.s.- please vote. If no one votes I'll be forced to log-in on various computers around the city and rig the data to make it look like people care, and that victory would just be really hollow. But I'd still count it as a victory.

K & M Watch a Horror Movie : Paranormal Activity 4

Posted by K 

***Warning, if you have not seen Paranormal Activity 4, there may be spoilers in here. I don't really know, I haven't seen the other three so I'm not sure what "gives away" plot points. Either way, you've been warned!***



Last Friday M, the gang and I went to see Paranormal Activity 4. M is actually a fan of the series, which is odd, because I would not have pegged her as a horror movie fan. We watched The Shining together once and had very different reactions:

M:

 

Me:

Needless to say I'm not a Horror movie fan. Either I'm bored stupid or scared stiff, there isn't really a middle ground. Neither is very enjoyable.

However, it's almost Halloween, so in the spirit of the season, we all agreed to meet at the theater for a viewing of Paranormal Activity 4. I should probably mention I haven't seen any of the other three Paranormal activities, so I wasn't up on the "plot". I wikipedia'd it, which I thought would be good enough to cover the major plot points. Was I ever wrong.


It started out okay, some flashy camera work, but nothing I would consider too scary:

Then suddenly, with the appearance of a brunette woman, the entire audience lost their minds. Seriously, the theater was full of gasping and screaming, and I was sitting there like "What? It looks like a soccer Mom. I don't get it."

That confusion pretty much encompassed my feelings for the entire movie. Apparently brunette lady was possessed, and went after the little boy next door as part of some demon deal...but really there were 2 little boys, but one disappeared before the end... Plus, according to Wikipedia, brunette  possessed lady kidnapped the little boy at the end of the third movie, so how did he end up with another family?? Was it because the demon was too good to change diapers??




After the movie, we met outside the theater to discuss:

Booya. The brother opinion was on my side this time!!

Later that night...

I ended up having a sleepover with M, so we could chill and watch the New Girl tv show that we both find hilarious. Around 11pm I went to sleep in her spare room.

11:00pm

11:05pm

11:06pm

It was Darcy the cat. Not a demon lady. I swear these cats are part of a conspiracy to drive me crazy.

Anyway, I guess the movie was more scary than I originally thought. Point to M.

My day so far....

♪One of these days is not like the others ♪

♪One of these days is missing something ♪

♪Can you guess which day is not like the others? ♪

♪One of these days is going to suck! ♪

Have you guess it? That's correct! Thursday has a conspicuous lack of purse!

I somehow managed to leave the house without my purse. How is that even possible? I'm going to blame it on the fact it was 6am, and for some stupid reason I had left my bus pass in my coat (as opposed to my purse), so I didn't even notice the bag was missing until I was sitting on the bus trying to find my radio.


You may ask why I didn't get off the bus when I noticed it missing? (or you may not care, but since this is my blog I figure you've got to have some level of interest. Or you enjoy MS Paint.) I considered it, but then I thought "if I get off this bus, I'll be late for work, then the fact I got up at 5am to be on-time would be pointless! Plus then I'll have to stay late to make up the time, which is going to suck out loud." I just could not accept the fact that it would mean I got up at 5am for nothing.


I talked myself into thinking I could make it through the day without my purse. After all, I had my buspass! AND my coffee. Maybe that would be enough.


But as my ride continued, I slowly realized all the stuff I'd have to make it through the day without:

No cell phone.

No radio. And by extension, no $10 000 if they play the magic song

This is supposed to represent money. I'm too distraught to draw money properly.

Needless to say, it's been a weird day. The bus ride home was rough. It's surprisingly hard to stay awake when I'm not listening intently to the radio. Anyway, I'm reunited with my purse now, so balance is restored!

It's almost Friday people! Time to celebrate!

The Radio is Driving me Bananas.

My quest to win the "Hot 89.9 $10 000 Hot Hit" continues.

They played the winning song last Tuesday and I think I called about 70 times but I didn't get through :( 

It was kind of sad. I put the number on speed dial and sat outside continuously dialing, getting a busy signal, hanging up, and dialing again. There were a couple moments when I thought I got through and I'd get super excited, but then the line would disconnect and I'd be plunged back into despair! Okay, that was a little dramatic. More like "plunged back into annoyance".

Lather, rinse and repeat. 70 times.

Anywho, they rebooted it again, so I still have a chance!


Unfortunately the radio commercials are starting to get to me. They may be witty or funny the first few times, but when you've heard them 30 times the charm is pretty much gone.

Take this insurance commercial that plays on the radio:

"Jack and Jill. Romeo and Juliet. Napoleon and Josephine. Tarzan and Jane. Some things just work better together. The same goes for your car and home insurance."

I've probably heard this radio ad about 100 times in the last month. But it was only yesterday, while sitting on the bus, that I actually started to analyze what the ad was saying. And when I did, I realized something:

Jack and Jill: Fell down a hill, got concussed. Not good.

Romeo and Juliet: Committed suicide. Not good.

Napoleon and Josephine: 

#1, Napoleon basically returned France to a Monarchy and caused numerous deaths through his war with England (open to interpretation, I know), and #2 Napoleon tried to ditch Josephine before he became Emperor, but she forced him to marry her in the presence of the Pope (who wouldn't crown Napoleon until he agreed to the marriage). That's romance for you.

Conclusion: Not good.

Tarzan and Jane: Fictional characters.

So basically the worst use of 'examples to prove a point' ever. Perhaps I'm over-thinking this, but it seems to me to be a pretty epic fail.









p.s.- I realize 3 of the 4 couple examples are fictional characters. I just didn't want to play the "fictional" card more than once. I felt the need to mention it in case anyone was left with the impression I believe Jack and Jill are historical figures.

Inspiration

 

Disagree.

Giving Thanks

Posted by M

This Thanksgiving, I find myself reflecting on things for which I am grateful . I also find myself realizing that I have a lot of flaws, and therefore I am more and more thankful to the people who love and tolerate me.

Like recently, I went shopping for Thanksgiving dinner. I was uber excited when I saw this:

For the record, there were no substantial turkey bits missing. Hah, I am a Thanksgiving champion!!

I swiftly reached into the bin, and...

Turkey + floor= some woman behind me snickering. Well excuuuuuse me for not being able to lift 18 lbs.! Yeesh.

So then I decided to tell my turkey saga to a friend.

And that's when I lost control of my tomato...

Apparently tomatoes can really fly.

Classic distraction technique! I am so smart.

So now it's turkey preparing day. Thanks to my fabulous mother, I have lots of clear instructions to follow. To take my mind off cooking for a bit, I decided to do some chores to make the place presentable.

No one should be this happy vacuuming. No one.

Now my stuffing elbow is bruised. Sighs

To me dearest family and friends, all I can say is, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart, for putting up with me and ignoring things like tossed legumes and oddly placed bruises. You are all the bestests.

Just give me the $10 000 already.

So for the past 3 weeks I've been listening to the radio station Hot 89.9 in the hopes of winning their $10 000 Hot Hit contest, where, if you are the 89th caller after they play Katy Perry's "Wide Awake" song you win the moneys. At first I thought this would be a fun way to pass the enormous amounts of time I spend on the bus, as well as potential earn some sweet cash, but...

Songs that I used to enjoy are really starting to annoy the living daylights out of me. I think when you hear the same song 10 times a day everyday for a week you start to over analyze the lyrics.

For example, Flo Rida featuring Sia "Wild One"

 

My bus rides have become more stressful, as there are apparently several "dead air" areas in this city:

 

So far they've run the contest twice, and both times I've failed in a big way. This contest has suddenly become a sign that the universe hates me:

#1

Yes, I lost my bus pass. My $120 bus pass. It likely fell out of my pocket when I was rushing to get off the bus to call the radio station, so I'm choosing to blame them. Lucky for me someone was nice enough to turn it into the lost and found, and they saved me a ton of money!!

#2

I was outside waiting for the bus, no where near another telephone, and my cell phone died. I had to turn the radio off because I couldn't handle someone else winning while my phone was dead. Sigh.






These near (okay not so near) misses at winning $10 000 have the same inevitable effect:

Sad walk.

Then comes the redeeming announcement "Don't worry hotties, we're rebooting the contest,

 so you have another chance to win $10 000!!"

Anyway, I don't think this emotional roller coaster is healthy, so I respectfully request that I just be given the $10 000. Seriously. That would be really nice of them.