Monday, October 31, 2011

Note to Kibbelz: Choose a cooler graffiti tag name.

Posted by K

The other day I was sitting on the bus, beginning my commute at the ungodly hour of 6:30am, when I looked up and saw some graffiti. Not exactly an unusual find, until I read it:

It says "Kibbelz Da Klown." Not even kidding. I half suspected someone was screwing with me, so I shot a look around the bus, but no one seemed to notice it.
I'm afraid the picture is pretty shaky because I took it with my cell phone. Also, I was laughing.

Blurry close up

I kind of feel that if you're going to deface public property, at least choose a cool tag name. 

Seriously, think about it: the person would have had to bring a sharpie, wait until the back of the bus was empty, and then carefully scribe it for all future riders to see. The name they chose to immortalize? "Klown". With a 'K'.

I guess it did make me laugh, and at the crack of dawn no less. Well played, Kibbelz. Well played.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Ferdy part deux

Posted by K

I love the dollar store.

Where else would I find a sweater for Ferdy? So maybe it was meant for a child's doll, clearly he rocks it.

Freaking fantastic.

He really does brighten up a room. Plus, he'll totally comfort the little kiddies walking through out Halloween graveyard. They'll be all "Ah! A dismembered arm! but that is a really cute skeleton. Nice sweater."

I checked "Build-a-bear" to try and get him some shoes, but those teddies have really big feet apparently.

Unfortunately Quincy's desire to eat Ferdy hasn't been thrown off by the colourful shirt:

Not the foot!

And for those of you who think I'm losing my might be right.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Bus Points Milestone

Posted by K

As of this morning I have spent the equivalent of a week at work (37.5 hours) just waiting to catch the bus. An entire work week just standing under a sign.

To celebrate this depressing milestone, I bought myself Season 4 of Criminal Minds. I know it's not my scheduled 100 bus hours, but I feel it should be acknowledged with a prize. So basically I'm celebrating my messed up commute by buying a show about people catching psychos. Sweet.

I'm going to imagine that the first "unsub" they shoot is in honour of me! (Don't be offended, it's a fictional show people.)

p.s. Do you like the award? It makes me feel less depressed about this. Don't judge me.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

How to be picture perfect: Take it from Keira

Posted by M

Recently, while posing for a picture, I was reminded of my love of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Random? Stick with me and I'll explain:
This is not only one of the best novels ever written (not just my opinion, it's a proven fact), but has brought fans hours of entertainment in the form of the 1995 A&E version starring Colin Firth (oh, and Jennifer Ehle...oooops). This epic 5-part mini-series is well worth the day it takes to watch it all. For many summers, some amazing friends and I would gather together to bond over the light-hearted story and ideal (yeah, he starts out jerky, but really he's just misunderstood!) man that is Mr. Darcy. There was nary a dry eye by the end.

Exhibit A:
Need I show more? Trust me, just watch it.

Anyway, I digress. What I really thought of while taking the photo was the 2005 Kiera Knightley version. During the 129 minutes of film, Kiera constantly displays what my friends and I came to call the "Keira Kiss". The Keira Kiss is the one, sure-fire way that you can always look AWESOME in pictures! Reunions, weddings, work functions, boy or name it, you will be the bomb.

Is she happy? Sad? Hungry? Who cares, she looks great!

So, how is this look achieved, you ask? First, focus on your lips. Imagine that you have been stung by a bee right on the kisser, or that you have recently received a significant collagen treatment (if you have then hoorah!, you're one step ahead of everyone!). You will feel your lips start to expand outward immediately. I'm doing it just thinking about it! Next, purse your lips just like you do while admiring your gorgeous self in the mirror (oh come on, we all know you do it). Hold that pose while everyone else yells "Cheese!" and you're golden!

Everyone will always admire your slick demeanor, and you will never again have to worry about having that goofy grin or half-smile plastered all over precious pictures. Voila, your answer to unphotogenic awkwardness for LIFE. To any celebrities out there: I'm available for photo consultation for a nominal fee. And when I say nominal, think "large".

She does it everywhere! LOVE it!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Bus-iquette Tip of the Week: I can hear you...

Posted by K

After spending my Thursday commute without headphones, I was reminded (painfully) why I started listening to music on the bus in the first place.

I think the lowest point of my ride was when the guy next to me started loudly bragging that the bus driver wasn't allowed to kick him off the bus for telling graphic stories as long as he replaces the dirty words with euphemisms. Do you know how hard it was to keep a straight face? Like trying to swallow Buckley's without grimacing. I managed it by going to my happy place: me, a beach and a Pina Colada. Good times.

Not that I'm against people talking on public transportation (though I am against laughter and/or general merriment before 7am); I just think they should remember that everyone else can hear you. Especially when you're yelling. In their ear. I really don't want to hear about your disturbing medical problems, I have enough trouble with motion sickness as it is. 

Brainwave! I have just thought of a perfect punishment for white collar crime: make them stand on a bus once a week for 24 hours straight. Seriously; imagine seeing someone like Conrad Black cuffed to the top of one of those metal hand poles, helplessly falling over at sharp turns, while in the background some 13 year old girl talks about how awesome Justin Bieber is. Hilarious. You can have that one for free Justice System. (though if you want to pay me for it, that's cool too.)

Monday, October 10, 2011

Meet Ferdy

Posted by K

This is Ferdy (short for Ferdinand, but he doesn't like to be too formal), the happy Skeleton.
He is the most awesome Halloween accessory ever, and I only paid $1.

He's got the kind of face that says, "Yes, I may be a skeleton with glowing red eyes, but is that a reason to be depressed? Life's a party!" There is a lot of sincerity in those ruby reds.

I'm just jazzed to be here.

All I have to do now is find him a tiny easy chair and put it on the front step. Then when people come to the door he'll be all "Wassup?" Perfect first impression.

Unfortunately Quincy is also a fan of Ferdinand. As in he wants to eat him. I guess that's what happens when you're as charismatic as Ferdy.
That's not ominous at all, Quincy.

Don't worry though, I'm sure once we get Ferdy positioned outside he'll be safe. Unless squirrels are also overwhelmed by his friendliness. This could end badly. Maybe if I padlock him to the mailbox...

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Quincy Strikes Again.

Posted by K

Two more pairs of headphones have been murdered by this cat:

He looks so freaking smug.

2 days ago, I woke up to find my second backup headphones gruesomely displayed on my bedroom floor. Mangled to death. (And in case you're wondering; yes, I clearly do need to have 2 backup headphones as I'm living with a feline assassin)

Since this pair was mostly-broken already (only one earphone worked) i wasn't too upset about losing them. What concerns me was that they were stored on the back of a shelf a good distance from the ground, and nothing else was knocked off. How could he possibly reach them without knocking everything over? It's the type of question that will keep me up at night.

Then, this morning, I was sitting on the bus trying to listen to my tunes, and nothing was playing. I looked at my ipod, which seemed okay, checked my earpieces: all good. Confused, I followed the headphone cord all the way down until two inches before the end, where there was a single tooth mark cutting through the wire. That is just a really low blow. Now I get to spend my 3 hour daily commute listening to The Sounds of the Bus. Best hits include: high pitched laughter, techno beat from stupid-guy-with-loud-music, and crying baby. Thanks ever so, Quincy.

Monday, October 03, 2011

A Response! Not a good response, but still a response.

Posted by K

I got a response from my local councillor! (okay, so it was the councillor's assistant) After 10 days! What a system.

To paraphrase, there is nothing they can do for me. Yay. They suggest I keep e-mailing the bus company.
Because that has been really effective so far.

This war is not over bus...

Sunday, October 02, 2011

My Kingdom for a Response...

Recently I've been sending bus complaints almost every day. I started out very professionally:

Yet they didn't respond. I even clicked the "request a response" button. So I thought that maybe if I got more creative they would finally reply to me:

Still no double buses. Or Ricola. I didn't even get Halls or Buckleys for crying out loud. I figure if they're not taking me seriously I'm at least going to have fun with it. I think Monday I'll request that they send us some free coffee as a gesture of goodwill. I'm totally going to be a hero on that bus.