Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Weather Denial

Posted by K

Weather denial. This is what happens when you go from 29 degrees(Celsius) one week to -13 the next. We, as a collective, refuse to recognize that the heat wave might not be coming back. Despite the fact that it lasted only a few precious days (sandwiched between freezing cold weeks) we refuse to admit that it wasn't summer coming early, but really the weather messing with us.

Take me for example; even though I know I'm going to be standing outside for at least 30 minutes waiting for the bus, so far this week I flat out refused to put on a winter jacket again.

There I was, being smugly defiant. Freezing, but also smug.

Me, my red sneakers, and my defiance.

There's a sense that even though I'm freezing, I'm still winning against the ridiculous weather. "I'm not shivering! I'm just really excited about something...that I can't remember right now."

But then I saw this guy at the bus stop:

Shorts and a Hockey jersey? It's freaking -15 out here!

And this girl:

Capris and flipflops. How do you not have hypothermia?!

And that's when it hit me. We're not winning...we're freezing. You know who's winning? The weather.

The weather is sitting somewhere, watching us freeze and laughing until it cries. Well you know what weather? I'm not playing these games any more. If you continue to be a giant jerk, I will bring out the big guns.

Magic Hat: Guaranteed to wipe the smile off weather's face.

Booya weather.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Posted by K 

I've made an award for everyone who has to do responsible adult things, even when they'd rather be dragged by their feet backwards through a muddy field full of cacti than actually do those things.

Especially on a Monday.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Sleep woes

Posted by M

Recently, I have been finding myself suffering from very poor sleep. So poor that if I had to choose another adjective to describe my sleep patterns, I would choose 'disastrous'. Or perhaps 'tragic'. I'm sure you catch my drift.

I had suspected stress to be the culprit, but I often feel completely relaxed & content before falling asleep and STILL wake up feeling like I never went to bed. A few days ago, I found myself googling "how to sleep well" (ok, I may have written "how to sleep good", but what do you expect from the sleep deprived?!), and following some advice from a very credible website- that's right peeps, ehow.com. According to them, I haven't been breaking any sacred bed habits, and thus I began to think back to the last time I had a truly good sleep...this part took awhile...

I quickly realized that the last really good sleep I had involved a very cuddly teddy bear. I would tell you how old I was, but I would probably die of embarassment, so we'll skip it. But where, oh where, would I find something to cuddle?? I burdened my parents long ago with my bear collection (don't you say a thing), and I'm one of those "need 2 pillows to be comfortable" kinda gal. Whatever was I to do??!

Enter the Darcy. Cat extroadinaire. Pen lover. Ball fetcher. All around cuddly friend (unless you have curly hair or a necklace, then you're bait). Normally Darcy is not allowed to sleep in the bedroom, because he tends to meow and wake me up, not to mention knock things off my bedside table. I've lost many a good lip gloss... But what the heck, I thought I'd give it a try.

The following is a factual recounting of the night in question. And yes, I do have a plaid comforter.

Exhibit A: 11:05 pm

That bump in the bed is my lovely, warm Darcy. I am SO smart.

Exhibit B: 3:06 am
Cat feet in the face. What the...

Exhibit C: 4:12-5:03 am
Apparently my pillow is in fact HIS pillow...

Exhibit D: 6:20 am

In case it's unclear, this is him hanging from the bed. He walked upside-down around the whole bed. Twice.
In case it's unclear, I am screaming.

Yep, I think we can all agree this was a fail. Insert sad violin music here.

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Plastic Hand Straps on Buses = Modern Torture Device

Posted by K 

Whoever invented the plastic hand strap was a sadist. It sits there, inviting you to hold on, promising stability... then throws you around the bus like a mechanical bull.

It may look harmless but it's actually deadly.

The straps can be moved along the metal bar, for "convenience" sake, in case you want to reposition, but what that really means is that you're one sharp turn away from getting painfully acquainted with the person standing next to you.

Painful for everyone involved.

And just because throwing you from side-to-side isn't traumatic enough, there's the forward and backward toss: backwards and you bump into the person behind you, forwards and you have a super awkward encounter with whoever happens to be sitting in the priority seats.

Awkward sauce.

I think OC Transpo needs to garner some good will and come up with a more effective way of catering to people who are forced to stand. Pretty much anything else would be better. At this point I'd agree to foot straps. Or chairs on the roof. Their choice.

Friday, March 09, 2012

Stress ball

Posted by K 

At any given time there are between 5-15 things stressing me out.  Some are big things, some are little things. The important thing is to have a good balance, so that the stress never overwhelms me. I have to achieve a delicate juggling act where as long as things stay at pretty much the same anxiety level I can keep it together.

I feel like I've been dealing with my stress like a champion so far this year. Well, maybe "champion" is too strong a description, but I haven't gone psycho yet, so that's a good sign.

So colourful it's almost happy!

 ["The Ring" on my stress list is not jewelery, it's a horror movie that I accidentally watched 5 minutes of (last year) while flipping through channels. All I saw was this super creepy girl crawl out of a tv and do this disturbing crab-walk across the floor, then I changed the channel. Yet it still bothers me.What was wrong with her? Doesn't she realize a headband would do wonders to keep the hair out of her face?]

Unfortunately, every so often one of my stresses likes to test me. To see how far it can push me before I lose it. This upsets me. And the balance. But mostly me.

When something like this happens, I am forced to put aside my other issues and deal with the problem head-on, in a calm and professional manner.

I like to think that I'm setting an example for all the other stress in my life. If you make me angry I will pound you mercilessly until you are a dried up husk of your former self (metaphorically speaking).

Equilibrium restored.

Monday, March 05, 2012

K and the Magic Hat

I have discovered the secret. The glorious secret to having an empty seat next to me on the bus. And it doesn't involve taking the seat up with a purse and refusing to move it.

I've tried everything in the past:

1. The fake flu (cough every-time someone comes near your seat, hope they go away.)

2. The you-should-avoid-me-as-I'm-slightly-unbalanced act (muttering along with your music while starring straight ahead without blinking.)

3. The "I'm-getting-off-soon" pose (clutch your bags and stare intently out the window like you're stop is coming up.)

And nothing ever worked. Until this morning.

It was freaking freezing outside so I wore my new winter hat. Usually I take off the winter gear when I get on the bus, but today I thought "Meh, I'm cold and tired. I'm leaving it on."
I began to notice something during my long commute: no one sat next to me. The bus was probably 90% full but the seat next to me was still empty. I began analyzing what was different and the only thing I can figure is the hat:

Awesome hat = more room for me!

I have found it. The holy hat-grail of comfortable bus transportation.

It probably helps that I ride the bus with college students who would rather catch hypothermia than risk the horror of hat-head, and business people who wear "professional" winter jackets and fancy scarves.

Thinking about it, They probably find my whole winter ensemble intimidating, but the hat definitely seals the deal.

I'm ready for the freaking snow-pocalypse.

Friday, March 02, 2012

Quincy: Nightstalker

Posted by K  

I woke up around 3am last night to the sound of Quincy roaming around in my room.

Not disconcerting at all.

Turning on the light for a minute or two usually gets him to stop making noise. It works if I turn the tv on too. Like he's cool with waking me up, but not with interrupting "Storage Wars". Weird.

Cue creepy "Jaws" music.

We stared at each other for awhile until I got bored and turned the lights off again.

About 30 seconds after I closed my eyes, I heard him start purring. That is generally not a good sign when he's sitting alone in the dark.

I was immediately suspicious, so I turned on a light just in time to see this:

He was destroying my headphones.


He managed to grab them from right under my nose. Almost literally right under my nose. It's like he takes some perverse pleasure in ruining my music experience. After I yelled "WHY?!!" he backed off and stared at me like I was crazy. He clearly doesn't realize how badly I need my tunes while riding the bus.

This time, despite a bite mark through one of the wires, they still seem to work, so I used duct tape to patch them up. They are now the most stylish headphones ever.

I'm going to start hiding the headphones in a kleenex box next to my bed. I'll probably end up accidentally throwing the whole box out with the garbage, then Quincy will win. Again.

Thursday, March 01, 2012

100 Hours Spent Waiting : A New Milestone

Posted by K 

I have now spent 100 hours waiting. Waiting for buses, walking to and from buses, wondering why 3 scheduled buses in a row haven't shown up, that sort of thing.

In the time I've spent with buses, I could have completed 2 college credits and still had 10 hours left over to watch the entire "Pride and Prejudice" BBC series.

That. is. depressing. (Not the "Pride and Prejudice" series, the whole standing outside for 100 hours thing.) Though "Pride and Prejudice" can get a little annoying at times as well. That Wickham guy really needs to be punched.

I'd probably rant more about this, but I also have a cold, so I am tired. And sneezy. And complain-y. Can you tell?

On the bright side, I have now played 669 games of Klondike, and improved my winning average to  50%.

And I'm at $72, 392 fake ipod dollars! Still a long way from being a fake-millionaire, but I'm getting there. None of this would have been possible without the unreliability of OC Transpo. *Round of applause*

I was also forced to perfect a method for playing on my ipod without freezing my fingers off in the cold. I went for short bursts of Klondike followed by 10 minutes warming up in my coat pockets. Pretty effective.

These are life skills, people.

That's right, I made myself another award.