Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Me versus my ipod. The battle begins.

Posted by K

Is it really necessary for the ipod to record statistics on my Klondike games? And remind me of them everytime I restart?

"Are you sure you want to abandon this game? You've played it 70 times and only won 11..."

It's like the game is calling me a loser every time I play.This was supposed to be relaxing for me ipod, and now you're stressing me out :(

Well now it's on. I will beat this machine if it kills me. And it might. Because I keep playing at the same time I'm trying to walk home. Landed me in a ditch a couple times...

Current Score: Played 68, won 15

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Bus-iquette tip of the week: Why I deserve a seat on the bus more than your purse/backpack.

Posted by K

I like to think I'm not a selfish person. I don't ask for much when I ride public transit; leave me alone and I won't bother you. But one thing I do expect when the bus is packed is that people will move their bags off empty seats so I can sit. And yet they act like it's the biggest hassle ever. I'm not asking for a kidney, it's a seat on a bus.
Does your purse have tired legs? No. Has that backpack paid over $100 for a bus pass? No. And yet every day I have to fight this battle.

So I've decided to illustrate my point with three (hopefully) indisputable reasons why I deserve that seat. Am I the winner? You be the judge.

Point to me, I believe.
1. I pay taxes every year. Your purse doesn't.
Okay, so I guess you could argue that your purse paid sales tax the year you bought it. But still, assuming I work until I'm 65 years old, I totally win. (Unless you bought one of those $10 000 purses, in which case I doubt you're riding public transit)

2. I have a better personality than your backpack. Think about it: You carry that lump around all day long and it never says thanks. Plus it hangs open and dumps your stuff all over, which I would never do. Unless you really deserve it.
The next graph illustrates this: I gave myself 100 personality points based on my ability to smile and react to situations with kindness and manners. The porcupine is there for illustrative purposes; I gave him a 20 for probable cuteness, but subtracted 10 for sharp edges. Backpack gets 1, and that's assuming it has a cool design or funny buttons on it.

3. Lastly, and probably most importantly, if you don't move your bag I will sit on it. Seriously, I've done it before and I'll do it again. Here's hoping that's crunching noise isn't your laptop.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Quincy is trying to kill me.

Posted by K

Monday night I was coming up the stairs from the basement. It was dark. Scary even. There were no lights on when I got to the hallway, but I noticed something weird about the carpet. I flipped on the light to find this:

"I am stealth."

Luckily I keep my camera on a table right near the doorway, or I wouldn't have proof that Quincy is trying to kill me. If it wasn't for the "Where's Waldo"-like tail sticking out I probably wouldn't have seen him in the dark.

Murderous glare

After I took the photos I figured he realized the element of surprise was gone, but he still grabbed my foot as I walked by, and managed to trip me. He has perseverance, I'll give him that.

Friday, November 04, 2011

Indications that it's time to rethink your life:

Posted by K

  1. A "good commute" is a day when you don't get hit in the head by a backpack or elbow.
  2. A "fun treat" is speed walking for 30 minutes to pick up a sub for lunch.
  3. You're happy when the bus driver has to pull over to report a guy smoking crack to the police, because at least cocaine-guy was in the car next to the bus rather than on the bus.
    • Then you're angry, because someone smoking crack clearly has a driver's license and you still don't.
    1. You name the plant sitting on your desk.
    2. You take the plant on your desk (Phoebe) home, because you feel guilty that it's been stuck at work its whole life.
    3. A bad week is justification for buying yet another season of Criminal Minds. Seriously. I have a problem.
    4. You spent your evening drinking wine while watching "She's all That" and laughing at the 90s fashions.
    5. Even your cat disapproves of your movie choices. (It's a compelling story Quincy, stop judging me.)
    6. You genuinely tried to win McDonald's Monopoly. When will I learn that there is no Boardwalk out there?
    7. You spent WAY to much time entering said monopoly pieces into the internet game, only to lose, like, every single time. I swear if I have to watch "Uncle Pennybags" throw a card and miss the hat one more time I will scream.

    Highpoint? When you realize that despite all this, life could definitely be worse. Besides, Phoebe is clearly happier at home.