Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Bus-iquette tip of the week: Why I deserve a seat on the bus more than your purse/backpack.

Posted by K

I like to think I'm not a selfish person. I don't ask for much when I ride public transit; leave me alone and I won't bother you. But one thing I do expect when the bus is packed is that people will move their bags off empty seats so I can sit. And yet they act like it's the biggest hassle ever. I'm not asking for a kidney, it's a seat on a bus.
Does your purse have tired legs? No. Has that backpack paid over $100 for a bus pass? No. And yet every day I have to fight this battle.

So I've decided to illustrate my point with three (hopefully) indisputable reasons why I deserve that seat. Am I the winner? You be the judge.

Point to me, I believe.
1. I pay taxes every year. Your purse doesn't.
Okay, so I guess you could argue that your purse paid sales tax the year you bought it. But still, assuming I work until I'm 65 years old, I totally win. (Unless you bought one of those $10 000 purses, in which case I doubt you're riding public transit)

2. I have a better personality than your backpack. Think about it: You carry that lump around all day long and it never says thanks. Plus it hangs open and dumps your stuff all over, which I would never do. Unless you really deserve it.
The next graph illustrates this: I gave myself 100 personality points based on my ability to smile and react to situations with kindness and manners. The porcupine is there for illustrative purposes; I gave him a 20 for probable cuteness, but subtracted 10 for sharp edges. Backpack gets 1, and that's assuming it has a cool design or funny buttons on it.

3. Lastly, and probably most importantly, if you don't move your bag I will sit on it. Seriously, I've done it before and I'll do it again. Here's hoping that's crunching noise isn't your laptop.

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