Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Bus-iquette Tip of the Week: I can hear you...

Posted by K

After spending my Thursday commute without headphones, I was reminded (painfully) why I started listening to music on the bus in the first place.

I think the lowest point of my ride was when the guy next to me started loudly bragging that the bus driver wasn't allowed to kick him off the bus for telling graphic stories as long as he replaces the dirty words with euphemisms. Do you know how hard it was to keep a straight face? Like trying to swallow Buckley's without grimacing. I managed it by going to my happy place: me, a beach and a Pina Colada. Good times.

Not that I'm against people talking on public transportation (though I am against laughter and/or general merriment before 7am); I just think they should remember that everyone else can hear you. Especially when you're yelling. In their ear. I really don't want to hear about your disturbing medical problems, I have enough trouble with motion sickness as it is. 

Brainwave! I have just thought of a perfect punishment for white collar crime: make them stand on a bus once a week for 24 hours straight. Seriously; imagine seeing someone like Conrad Black cuffed to the top of one of those metal hand poles, helplessly falling over at sharp turns, while in the background some 13 year old girl talks about how awesome Justin Bieber is. Hilarious. You can have that one for free Justice System. (though if you want to pay me for it, that's cool too.)

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