Why is an Orange?

Posted by M

Clumsiness. A free and clearly legit online dictionary defines it as "Lacking physical coordination, skill, or grace; awkward." . Yep, I think most of my friends and family would say that my picture could easily appear under "clumsy" in a dictionary.

I wish that part about the fridge door was a lie. Alas...

For most of my life, I have been walking into to things, tripping, dropping, breaking items and generally doing myself injury in completely stupid ways. I even tried to diagnose my clumsiness using online doctor sites...Let me just say right now that you should NEVER do this. According to these people, the answer is ALWAYS that you have some rare disease or incurable illness. Not the simple answer, that you are probably just spacially stupid.

To demonstrate what I mean, here are some recent instances of clumsiness by yours truly:

Sunday:

This looks like a job for...

I feel it's only right to tell you that my husband had already banned me from using super glue due to previous incidents. But I just couldn't resist when I saw it at the dollar store! I mean, come on, 4 tubes for a dollar!! Who could resist that?

Yep. Goodbye index fingers.

For the record, he wasn't surprised. Also for the record, the answer is nail polish.

Wednesday:

 

You want to know what happened? I fell over. Standing on my own two feet, I fell over. Well, you asked.

Thursday:

Friday:

Well, as a wise person once told me, it is what it is. From now on I think I'll just dress in bubble wrap, at least then I will enjoy the sound of popping plastic bubbles when I fall down.