Friday, February 24, 2012

Life Tips: Avoiding crocodile attacks.

Posted by K 

I know we all worry about it. Crocodile attack. There may be 6 feet of snow outside, but you just never know, do you? What if I'm at the bus-stop and a crocodile crawls out of the bushes? What if you're in the supermarket and you round the corner and bam! Crocodile in the steak freezer.

To help us all feel more prepared, I'm going to summarize some important tips I got from a book I'm reading called How to Hold a Crocodile.

How to escape a crocodile? Probably the most important information. Apparently crocodiles can run like the wind (unexpected with those tiny legs), so they say the secret to escaping one is to not run in a straight line. In the words of Peter Falk in "Meet the In-Laws", serpentine! Serpentine for your life!

How to hold a crocodile? The real question is, why would you want to? But I guess since that's the name of the book they felt the need to explain it. Basically, if it's a large crocodile it involves several ropes and people to hold them. Small crocodiles you put one hand behind their head and the other hand holding their feet. Preferably while wearing chain-link gloves.

The classic, how to tell a crocodile from an alligator? If you're trying to tell that you're way too close! hahaha. ha. ha. Ahem. Okay, you can tell when their mouth is closed; See teeth? It's a crocodile. No teeth? Alligator.

Well I see teeth, so clearly a crocodile.

Hopefully this will help with the identification and evasion of  crocodile attacks. Tune in next week for tips on how to recognize gold! (You know, when you're digging in your backyard and you want to know if you've hit the mother-load or found an old candy wrapper; the difference between a trip to the Bahamas or a trip to the garbage can.)

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